...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
