just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
