I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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