Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
