You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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