Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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