we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
