Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
