perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
