My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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