we have pet lesbian snakes
Ketchup is God's man juice
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
