That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
