i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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