haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
