How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
