she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
