i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
