I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
