Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
