You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
