Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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