This is not my ceiling
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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