I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize