I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize