Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
