he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I checked into jail on foursquare
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
