Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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