Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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