So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have fence marks all over my body
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
