You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
