Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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