Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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