Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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