CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
