Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
