CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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