speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
