I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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