happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
