i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
