My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she peed on how many people?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
