Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
