I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize