omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
