and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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