VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How does it feel to date your dad?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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