discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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