Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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