Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The power of my boobs compel you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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