The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
