So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
