I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
