You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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