Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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