Me. At least after what I've been through.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need to sanitize my soul.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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