All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well I can't set my house on fire every night
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
