she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize