Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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