Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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