So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I have post one night stand depression
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
