your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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