Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
