She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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