Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize