Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize