If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
