ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
