yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
